Dear Magglio:

Oh. My. Nice day, dude.



--Your appreciative Vitamin D-ominating Ownership.

Ps: Josh Hamilton: don't even think we're not preparing
a mega-first-half celebration for your post-rehab performance:




as the #2 ranked Yahoo! MLB Fantasy player of 2008.

Dear Vitamin D pitching staff:

First, Chris Young, now Senor Valverde?? "May 23 RHP Jose Valverde was able to secure his 15th save of the season moments after getting struck on the cheek by a line drive off the bat of Pedro Feliz. Valverde lay motionless for nearly a minute before hopping to his feet and finishing the game."

Put up your freaking glove.

--Vitamin D-uh Ownership Pool

Dear Chris Young:

Don't you wish you were 6 foot 2 instead of 6 foot 10?

"When I hit it, I thought it was going over his head," Pujols said. "But it hit him right in the face. "There was blood all over the place and I began to pray about it and make sure it was all right."

Out of a misguided sense of sympathy and loyalty, we won't drop you this week.

--Vitamin D-amaged Ownership

Dear Vitamin D "Pitching Staff":

Look, you can't all be the #5 starter on this team.

You're being paid big bucks, the trainer is providing you with lots of nutritional supplements and your ERA's are in double digits? Chris Young, ferchrisakes, is the star for the day? Can we set the bar any lower?

Sheesh.

--Vitamin D-isgruntled shareholders.

Ps: 70 Ks for the week is nice but, good grief, you were giving up 1 HR for every 5 strikeouts! Fourteen (14) HRs for the week? Double-sheesh.

Ps2: Glass is 1/2 Full Dept: at least you kept the ERA in double-digits. How about the triple digit performance of Dodger Jonathan Broxton against Houston this fine, sunny Mothers Day?

Dear Team Vitamin D-eficient:

When I said, "Go for it" to our pitching staff before today's games, I intended for you all to "think low" ERA and WHIP to catch up with the Obamariners' staff.

Instead you post ... this:






















In a word, "Aaaaagh."

---Vitamin D-ying Here

Dear Brandon Webb:

This tip of the WATBL hat's for you, BDubya. 8-0. Nice start to the season.

(Reached on his cell phone, Brandon told the WATBL News, "I owe it all to Vitamin D.")

---Your growing fan base in the PacNW.

Dear LSF 5/1 Starting Lineup,

Just checking in before I call it a day and I noticed that ya'll have put up a stellar line of 0/17 with 4 runs and an RBI. Ummmm...what? In case you haven't noticed, the Bugz have gone 6/11 today and have taken over the BA and OPS lead. Feel free to get a hit at any time. Thanks

Has anyone ever gotten no-hit in Fantasy play?

I guess the only consolation is that we are still hitting over .300 for the week...


-A seriously disappointed Fizz management team