Dear Mssrs. Wells:

Sorry, you can't play in our league.

Dear Mr. El Natural

Josh: Nice work. (Please don't revert to the mean.)

-- Owners of Vitamin D-elighted we got you in the 17th (!) Round as pick #169 (after recent unlamented dropees, Chad Cordero, Jeremy Bonderman, Carlos Delgado, Travis Hafner, Rickie Weeks, Chris (the tall one) Young, Manny Corpus, George Posada, etc ... sheesh, what a horrible draft!)

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Jun 3 The Associated Press reports Texas Rangers OF Josh Hamilton homered in his third straight game Monday, June 2. He leads the majors with 65 RBIs and leads the American League with 16 homers.

Jun 2 Hamilton, who has made an inspiring comeback from drug and alcohol abuse, was chosen as the American League player of the month for May on Monday. Hamilton became the first American League player to win the monthly award in April and May the same season.

Advice: Hamilton went into a Monday night game against Cleveland hitting .328 with a major league-best 63 RBIs, 13 more than the next-closest player. He led the AL with 15 homers, 77 hits and 25 multihit games. Hamilton had eight homers and 29 RBIs in May, when the Rangers won 19 games for their winningest month since June 1983. [This is "advice?" How about, "We advise you to never bench this guy (or let him get near a pharmacy)?"]

Dear Magglio:

Oh. My. Nice day, dude.



--Your appreciative Vitamin D-ominating Ownership.

Ps: Josh Hamilton: don't even think we're not preparing
a mega-first-half celebration for your post-rehab performance:




as the #2 ranked Yahoo! MLB Fantasy player of 2008.

Dear Vitamin D pitching staff:

First, Chris Young, now Senor Valverde?? "May 23 RHP Jose Valverde was able to secure his 15th save of the season moments after getting struck on the cheek by a line drive off the bat of Pedro Feliz. Valverde lay motionless for nearly a minute before hopping to his feet and finishing the game."

Put up your freaking glove.

--Vitamin D-uh Ownership Pool

Dear Chris Young:

Don't you wish you were 6 foot 2 instead of 6 foot 10?

"When I hit it, I thought it was going over his head," Pujols said. "But it hit him right in the face. "There was blood all over the place and I began to pray about it and make sure it was all right."

Out of a misguided sense of sympathy and loyalty, we won't drop you this week.

--Vitamin D-amaged Ownership

Dear Vitamin D "Pitching Staff":

Look, you can't all be the #5 starter on this team.

You're being paid big bucks, the trainer is providing you with lots of nutritional supplements and your ERA's are in double digits? Chris Young, ferchrisakes, is the star for the day? Can we set the bar any lower?

Sheesh.

--Vitamin D-isgruntled shareholders.

Ps: 70 Ks for the week is nice but, good grief, you were giving up 1 HR for every 5 strikeouts! Fourteen (14) HRs for the week? Double-sheesh.

Ps2: Glass is 1/2 Full Dept: at least you kept the ERA in double-digits. How about the triple digit performance of Dodger Jonathan Broxton against Houston this fine, sunny Mothers Day?

Dear Team Vitamin D-eficient:

When I said, "Go for it" to our pitching staff before today's games, I intended for you all to "think low" ERA and WHIP to catch up with the Obamariners' staff.

Instead you post ... this:






















In a word, "Aaaaagh."

---Vitamin D-ying Here