Dear Shrinking Vitamin D Fan Base:

Tuesday, July One, 2008.

We know. We know. We're working the problem. Needless to say, the GM is on Double Secret Probation and ownership is searching Craig's List for a replacement.

The Good (please fill glass half-full first): Jenn didn't shut us out last week!




The Bad* (please empty glass, then fill with forlorn hope): Senor Fuentes yesterday, the stats for which we were watching in horror at the Ms vs Jays game last night (with The Commish and Mrs. Commish, Glitterbabyz2B):



The Just Plain Dumb (feel free to bang head -- repeatedly -- on desk or other hard surface): we left 2 Ws and 14 Ks on the freaking bench yesterday -- the straw that pushed ownership over the edge:




--Vitamin D-umb PR Department

* Late breaking (more) bad news: "RF Magglio Ordonez was placed on the 15-day disabled list Sunday with a pulled right oblique and lat muscle suffered in the first inning Saturday night. He told reporters the pain increased overnight. Ordonez, batting .307 with 12 home runs and 50 RBI, had not missed a game this season. "I don't want to take a chance," said Ordonez, third Tiger this month to go on the DL due to an oblique muscle pull.

Dear Rich Harden,

I love you:

Innings pitched: 8.0
K: 11
ERA: 0.00
WHIP: 0.38

Please don't get hurt...I don't think I can take it (again).

-The Management

p.s. Thank you for shaving that horrible beard thing you were sporting before I had to blog about it.

Medic!! Shrink!!

Update:

Meanwhile, in the WTH? Department, we have these two classic Vitamin D-umbfounded Moments:

Bradley then went back to the clubhouse and broke down in tears. "I'm tired of people bringing me down," Bradley said to his teammates. "It wears on you. I love you guys, all you guys. I'm strong, but I'm not that strong. All I want to do is play baseball and make a better life for my kid than I had." (Milton "So, S0 Fragile" Bradley)

obviously I want to thank my parents for giving me life (Bartolo Colon)

Latest Yahoo Vitamin D news:

inflamed right elbow (Todd Wellemeyer)
in a rehab assignment (Santiago Casilla)
still winless for the season in both the minors and the majors (Clayton Kershaw)
slowed by a virus for several days (Josh Hamilton)
started the season poorly due to a bad back (Placido Palanco)
complained about extra moisture on the baseballs (come on, Josh Beckett!)
left with a limp (Milton Bradley)
mild soreness in his left knee (Jose Valverde)
given a day off Monday night (Grady Sizemore)

Suck ... it ... up. Take an Anti-Wussie Pill. Do something. At 1-11 you can only get better.

--Vitamin D-isgusted Ownership

Dear Mr. Diddly:

Thanks for memories ... and lyrics.

"I got 47 miles of barbed wire/I use a cobra snake for a necktie/I got a brand new house by the road side/Made from rattlesnake hide/I got a brand new chimney up on top/Made from a human skull/Now come on, baby, take a walk with me now/And tell me, who do you love?"

--Vitamin D-iddly for the Day

Dear Little Leaguers:

Listen up.

(big) Thumbs down

Jimmy Rollins, Phillies: Rollins, the reigning National League MVP, failed to run out a pop fly (eventually dropped by the shortstop) and was yanked from Thursday's game by Phillies manager Charlie Manuel.

(small) Thumbs up

Jimmy Rollins, Phillies: Rather than making excuses or fuming at Manuel, Rollins cheered on his team during the game and owned up to his mistake. "It's my fault. I can't get mad at him," Rollins said.

Dear Mssrs. Wells:

Sorry, you can't play in our league.

Dear Mr. El Natural

Josh: Nice work. (Please don't revert to the mean.)

-- Owners of Vitamin D-elighted we got you in the 17th (!) Round as pick #169 (after recent unlamented dropees, Chad Cordero, Jeremy Bonderman, Carlos Delgado, Travis Hafner, Rickie Weeks, Chris (the tall one) Young, Manny Corpus, George Posada, etc ... sheesh, what a horrible draft!)

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Jun 3 The Associated Press reports Texas Rangers OF Josh Hamilton homered in his third straight game Monday, June 2. He leads the majors with 65 RBIs and leads the American League with 16 homers.

Jun 2 Hamilton, who has made an inspiring comeback from drug and alcohol abuse, was chosen as the American League player of the month for May on Monday. Hamilton became the first American League player to win the monthly award in April and May the same season.

Advice: Hamilton went into a Monday night game against Cleveland hitting .328 with a major league-best 63 RBIs, 13 more than the next-closest player. He led the AL with 15 homers, 77 hits and 25 multihit games. Hamilton had eight homers and 29 RBIs in May, when the Rangers won 19 games for their winningest month since June 1983. [This is "advice?" How about, "We advise you to never bench this guy (or let him get near a pharmacy)?"]