Dear Mike Mussina,

Congratulations on being our first injured player of the season. You will soon be receiving a gift basket containing an amusing (but not too cutesy) get-well card, two miniature chocolate bars, a bottle of horse liniment, and a single yellow daisy on a bed of plastic grass left over from Easter. You are 38 years old now, so please take care of yourself. We hope that you don't miss too much time, but that if you do, that the Yankees have the courtesy to place you on the disabled list rather than letting you languish in an endless day-to-day purgatory where you're not really injured, but can't actually pitch either.