Dear Vitamin D "Pitching Staff":

Look, you can't all be the #5 starter on this team.

You're being paid big bucks, the trainer is providing you with lots of nutritional supplements and your ERA's are in double digits? Chris Young, ferchrisakes, is the star for the day? Can we set the bar any lower?

Sheesh.

--Vitamin D-isgruntled shareholders.

Ps: 70 Ks for the week is nice but, good grief, you were giving up 1 HR for every 5 strikeouts! Fourteen (14) HRs for the week? Double-sheesh.

Ps2: Glass is 1/2 Full Dept: at least you kept the ERA in double-digits. How about the triple digit performance of Dodger Jonathan Broxton against Houston this fine, sunny Mothers Day?

Dear Team Vitamin D-eficient:

When I said, "Go for it" to our pitching staff before today's games, I intended for you all to "think low" ERA and WHIP to catch up with the Obamariners' staff.

Instead you post ... this:






















In a word, "Aaaaagh."

---Vitamin D-ying Here

Dear Brandon Webb:

This tip of the WATBL hat's for you, BDubya. 8-0. Nice start to the season.

(Reached on his cell phone, Brandon told the WATBL News, "I owe it all to Vitamin D.")

---Your growing fan base in the PacNW.

Dear LSF 5/1 Starting Lineup,

Just checking in before I call it a day and I noticed that ya'll have put up a stellar line of 0/17 with 4 runs and an RBI. Ummmm...what? In case you haven't noticed, the Bugz have gone 6/11 today and have taken over the BA and OPS lead. Feel free to get a hit at any time. Thanks

Has anyone ever gotten no-hit in Fantasy play?

I guess the only consolation is that we are still hitting over .300 for the week...


-A seriously disappointed Fizz management team

Dear John Boy (Cueto):

Oh, my. I guess we knew this was possible for one so young... but .. Oh, my, this was ugly. Doubtful any WATBL pitcher will collapse this far in one start in ERA and WHIP. (WATBL owners: by all means, feel free to have one of your pitchers knock Johnny off that "pedestal.")

Shall we dissect it further? Sure, what the heck. Here's what happened in inning the first:








Here's what occurred in the 2/3 inning of the second that you lasted.
You got Albert, but ...mmmm...the rest was not pretty:








You hang in there, J.C. We're with you... especially if this is the bottom.

-- Vitamin D Ownership

Dear Hunter Pence, Jim Thome, Hideki Matsui, and Evan Longoria,

The four of you are all excellent players, but unfortunately I only have two free starting spots to fit you in. Over the last week I just took my best guess at who to play each day, and this was the result:

- Whoever was active: 9/42 (.214), 5 R, 1 HR, 4 RBI, 0 SB
- Whoever was benched: 18/42 (.429), 12 R, 5 HR, 14 RBI, 2 SB

Now, perhaps you're getting nervous when you know you're in the lineup, and fortunately the Blizzards were still able to pull out a 10-1-1 victory on the last two days over the very lovely and incomparably talented Glitterbugz. But in the future, please notify me each day in writing of the number and type of hits you plan to have that day so that management can plan accordingly. Thank you.

Dear Francisco Liriano,

No no no no no no no no no no no no nooooooooooo please remember how to pitch.