Please cut your hair.
-The Management
Yo, Joey & Raffie!
Guys. Senor Mauer and Senor Furcal. Get well or get on the DL. There is no 'in between' in baseball.
I need your bats or I need your seats. Pick one. I don't care. In an
8-team league there are plenty of "players" who will step up.
The choice is yours. You have one (1) day. But have a nice day.
--Your Off the Wall Manager.
I need your bats or I need your seats. Pick one. I don't care. In an
8-team league there are plenty of "players" who will step up.
The choice is yours. You have one (1) day. But have a nice day.
--Your Off the Wall Manager.
Dear Chris Capuano,
It's not you, it's me. I know you thought you'd make the team, being a 17th-round pick (134th overall), ahead of Rich Hill and Andy Pettitte. And you're a good pitcher. You are! Don't blame yourself. It's just that Rich looks like he might finally live up to his potential, and he's a Cub, and an absolute steal at round 20. And Andy . . . well, Andy is getting older, and his WHIP was alarming last year--but he's also a Yankee, and in fantasy baseball you spell Yankee with a great big W. So I'll just come out and say it: You're a Brewer. And the Brewers are always a year away from being a good team. It was big, big news when you made .500 in 2005 for the first time since 1992, and everyone thought 2006 would be your big year, and what happened? 75-87, that's what happened. You did your best, I know. You played your heart out for those 75 wins. You all did.
"For Brian Fuentes?" you're saying. "The closer for the Rockies?" I know. You're pointing out that the Rockies aren't exactly playoff-bound either, and that the humidor's been turned down, and HR is a category for pitchers in our league. I won't argue with you. But I had to do right by the team--the team had plenty of starters, and the saves were just sitting there, and Bobby Jenks has been sporting a 10.50 ERA this spring, and that worries all of us. It worries us a lot. It's been keeping Scott Kazmir up at nights, shivering and hugging his pillow.
"For Brian Fuentes?" you're saying. "The closer for the Rockies?" I know. You're pointing out that the Rockies aren't exactly playoff-bound either, and that the humidor's been turned down, and HR is a category for pitchers in our league. I won't argue with you. But I had to do right by the team--the team had plenty of starters, and the saves were just sitting there, and Bobby Jenks has been sporting a 10.50 ERA this spring, and that worries all of us. It worries us a lot. It's been keeping Scott Kazmir up at nights, shivering and hugging his pillow.
Dear Omar Vizquel,
I am sorry I had to drop you from my roster before the season began. If you must blame someone, please blame my husband. While he also is a believer of your mad defensive skills, he has repeatedly said that you are not prime fantasy league material. And I admit, I drafted you in the later rounds on a whim. And that was before I realized I really needed another pitcher, not another shortstop. So I dropped you for El Duque. I'm sorry. I will still root for you in person and on TV.
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