I sit through the winter every year eagerly anticipating the return of baseball- my daily escape from a troubling world filled with corruption, greed, warmongering and selfish douchebaggery. So I sit down tonight to enjoy the Braves-Nationals kickoff and welcome my therapist back from vacation. My man Tim Hudson is going tonight (Dear Tim Hudson- great job tonight even if the offense made Odalis Perez look like Johan Santana) and everything is a-OK with the world.
Then suddenly, inexplicably and without warning George W Fu**ing Bush gets thrown in my face. Are you kidding me?! I have to listen to that sociopathic chucklefu** ham it up with Johnny and Joe For 3 fu**ing innings? WTF ESPN! This is not helping me relax. This is not helping me forget my troubles. I just spent the week trying to wrap my head around Iraq's tragic plunge into anarchy and here the author of that tragedy sits joking about how the biggest mistake he ever made was trading Sammy Sosa. Ahhhhhh!
Not a good start to the season, ESPN. Bad dog. No biscuit.
Sincerely,
Mike Duncan
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