Dear Team Off the Wall (Week 17):

Although you're a mere shadow of your former selves,* you did eke out a victory over the Mighty Meats and have earned the right to have your name back. Well done.

The same cannot be said for you, Alex. You've been more than a bit sulky after being traded (e.g. .136 BA last week), so let's suck it up, hit the stupid 500th HR and start contributing. (The fans' anticipatory flashbulbs are no excuse for a pro. Get over it.)

-- Off the Wall Ownership

* Only hitters Carlos Lee, Carl Crawford and the Twin JMs (Mauer & Morneau) and pitchers Josh Beckett, Felix Hernandez, JPap and Billy Dubya remain from the original draft roster that has been relentlessly (some might say, "obsessively") sliced and diced by the Day Trading OTW Personnel Department. Note: Matsui-san is back, probably just in time for is hot streak to end.

2 comments:

JJ said...

I'm OK with A-Rod slumping for one more week...the pressure of going up against his former team must be tough.

Grandpa D said...

Actually the pressure on A-Clod is that his (very) young replacement at the CCups/DLs hot corner, Mr. Braun, is outplaying him.

As to wishing for bad things to befall our beloved Alex, the OTW Gypsy Curse Director says, "May Mr. Santana seek inner peace in Tibet until the snow falls; may Mr. Oswalt follow the path of Mr. Hargrove for the rest of the season in an attempt to discover why the highs are not high enough and the lows are too low for him to continue as a major leaguer."