Dear Nick Swisher,

OK. I get it. You are growing your hair out for a good cause and won't cut it until the end of the season. Fine. I think we can come to a compromise if you keep having days like today (2/3!) : You keep producing at the plate, I'll look the other way when your terrible long hair flies behind you like a greasy mane when you run to first.

-The Management

p.s. If you EVER put your hair into any ridiculous hairstyle that a boy from Ohio has no right wearing, I will drop you like a bad habit (Bronson Arroyo, I'm looking at you).

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