Dear Joel Zumaya. Hello?

Dude, we talked about this. I thought you had your "stuff" together. Obviously, that referred to packing for the road, an IRS audit or a new diet program. Certainly not your pitching stuff. Two-thirds of an inning and you balloon to a 27 ERA and a 6 WHIP for the day. Although we need your potential saves, your ERA/WHIP are killing us. Take a seat.

The only saving grace was that your OTW teammates, Mauer and Morneau, did you in with 3 RBI and an HR between them in the 8th, sending you to the showers.

--Bouncing Off the Walls Management

Ps: Oops. We benched Morneau today. I am such a rookie.

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