Dear Team Off the Wall (Week 7):

Pretty good week, gentlemen. Global Benchwarmers are your mirror image and you played them even up ... not to brag, but you actually eked out a second win in a row (6-5-1).

Pitchers: combining for just one (1) W and two (2) SVs was a head scratcher, but we won ERA (2.97) and Ks (64 to 56). Gold stars to Felix for getting off the DL and tossing 14 Ks (the ERA will come around) and to new OTW Young Guns, James Shields (13 Ks, 2.40 / .093 for the D-Rays) and Fausto Carmoda, (our 1 W, 0.00 ERA and .067 WHIP) for not tanking as soon as the contracts were signed.

Welcome, Chad Gaudin (rhymes with that French painter guy who dabbled in all things gaudy and Polynesian) from the A's.

Hitters: you shocked the league, your owners, your wives and girl friends, your dogs and the Commissioner by winning 4 categories, most shockingly HRs (11-9) and RBI (44-31). Gold stars all around... well, except 2B where we are still desperately searching for a bat (but not as much as Global BDubya's saddled with, as their owner refers to him, "Orlando 0-4 Hudson.")

Welcome to Kevin Youkilis (BoSox) who added some punch, but in an owner error seems to be platooning with our new 3B, Mike Lowell. Oops. Adios to Shane Victorininoino, who came up for cup of coffee in another head scratching "move" by ownership.